Driscoll = T-Bag Bear?

It's even rarer to see an ad describing a "ratty Vespa sidecar rig with bullhorns."

So imagine our pleasure to see just such an ad, describing the rider as an "American bear" and knowing full well that the only such Vespa in town belongs to 2% Erin. Here's the full text of the ad, from this week's Inlander:

"American Bear on a Vespa: On your ratty Vespa sidecar rig w/bullhorns in front of Irv's. You saw me in the bar & shot me Reese Witherspoon eyes. You can mushroom stamp me anytime. Roooar!!"

"Reese Witherspoon eyes?" "Mushroom stamp me?" We don't understand the terminology here - and aren't sure we want to - but adding to the prominent display of the "I (heart) Tea-Baggin" sticker on his pink-strapped helmet (which we DO understand), we're wondering if maybe there's some sort of code also associated with white sidecars...and bullhorns.

Who placed the ad? Don't know, but whoever did, thanks for the laughs!